i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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