Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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