dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
