i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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