is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
