Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
