i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
