best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
