Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm both gender and math confused
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
