i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
