Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
