where does the pee come out of this thing
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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