i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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