Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
