Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
