my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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