It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
As shirtless as possible
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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