mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize