i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
