i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
