covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i will never coherently bang her
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
