hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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