So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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