new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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