My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
