very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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