So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
