please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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