So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
