It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize