we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
