Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
