It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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