Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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