She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think i peed on brittanys purse
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
