just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
