i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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