just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize