I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
