It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
