This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
