how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
