So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
