Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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