You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
