the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize