I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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