I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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