I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize