Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
