that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
