She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
