you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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