Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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