i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
