so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Two words: blizzard sex
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
