In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
