Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I died a long time ago.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
bring money and cleavage
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
