that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
