Me too!
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
