did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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